Tag Archives: life

When I Murdered A $20 Bill and Hid the Body

Posted on August 20, 2014 by

There’s been a $20 bill sitting on my desk for three months. I’m not going to spend it any time soon. It’s been ripped in half. By me. What happened was I was in some weird NYC bodega trying to … Continue reading →

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10 Benefits of Watching Movies Alone on Your Laptop

Posted on August 15, 2014 by

Ever try and watch a “serious” movie and your movie-watching buddies just won’t stop making dopey comments the whole time, ruining the experience for you? I’ll answer this for you: yes. Sometimes it’s better to be a loner. Unless it’s … Continue reading →

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The Cheapest Way to Time Travel

Posted on August 14, 2014 by

Time travel exists, and it’s free. I discovered it last year when I was getting ready to move. You see, I’d accumulated way too much stuff, way too much junk, and so I figured I’d do a classic purge. Lighten … Continue reading →

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Anatomy of a Milk Pilferer

Posted on August 13, 2014 by

We’ve all been there. A big-ass bowl of Cheerios ready to go. You poured half the friggin box into the massive porcelain bowl. You’re hungry as a horse. And then you pop open the refrigerator and you realize you had … Continue reading →

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Regarding People Who Take Their Merry Time at Crosswalks

Posted on August 12, 2014 by

When you cross a pedestrian crosswalk, the cars are supposed to not kill you. They should stop. You, the pedestrian, totally have the right-of-way. You have the power, yes, but will you be a philosopher king, or a tyrant? It’s … Continue reading →

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The “Walking With A Basketball” Dilemma

Posted on August 11, 2014 by

I used to live by a nice public park with well maintained basketball nets. It was maybe a mile from where I lived, so I’d walk it. You couldn’t really drive anyway because there’d usually be nowhere to park. So … Continue reading →

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5 Ways to Unwind After a Stressful Plane Flight

Posted on July 29, 2014 by

You just got back from a long, stressful plane flight. The stewardess spilled orange juice all over your shirt. The plane slipped into a barrel roll to avoid colliding with a second plane. You got fired from your job via the … Continue reading →

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You’re Coughing Your Lungs Out? Have Some Water!

Posted on July 25, 2014 by

“OMG, Do you need water?” I think it’s funny how, when you’re smack in the middle of a coughing fit, hacking away in fits and starts, there’s usually someone close by who’s ready, willing, and able to fetch you a … Continue reading →

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Airplane Etiquette: What To Do When The Person Next to You Won’t Shut Up?

Posted on July 23, 2014 by

  If you ask me, there’s nothing worse than being trapped next to a Chatty Cathy or Loquacious Louis when you’re on a long plane flight. Nothing worse. Honestly, I’ve played out some scenarios in my head and nothing else … Continue reading →

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The Heartwarming Tale of A Man and His Lightning Bug

Posted on July 21, 2014 by

“Free Willy Philly” If you stopped by yesterday, you learned that an errant lightning bug had somehow managed to navigate its way all the way from my back patio to my bedroom, where it then dive bombed my head and … Continue reading →

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Posted in Editorial, Funny Posts | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments