Tag Archives: family

Using a Flamethrower to “Shovel” Snow

Intimidated by the thick coat of snow over your driveway? Does your lower back ache just thinking about what’s in store? Well, maybe it’s time you went up to the attic and grabbed grandpa’s old WW2 flamethrower and put that … Continue reading

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Why Back-to-School Season Sucks for Everybody

Three constants in the world: death, taxes, and the fact that back-to-school season sucks. For kids, for teachers, for parents, even for bachelors with no remaining ties to a school system. There’s a sinking feeling when you start hearing those … Continue reading

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Saturday Short Fiction: “Get Highpants—Part 7”

Short Fiction: “Get Highpants—Part 7” Styles didn’t have time to pull the trigger. Plome, whose recent window of lucidity had since run its course, peered directly into Styles’s eyes and made a face as if he recognized the stocky assassin … Continue reading

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How to Successfully Hide a Bag of Oreos From Your Spouse

You’re in the kitchen fishing through the various cupboards and cabinets, looking for where your spouse hid the crisp new bag of Oreos you’d deftly caught sight of when she got back from the grocery store. You’re sure you saw it—there’s no … Continue reading

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“Jert Zylan vs. The Cytard II”

Jert Zylan vs. The Cytard (Part 2) Jert plunged through the hatch, smashed down hard on the airlock floor. Bloomf! Seconds later Ensign Dan came through too, crunched right on top of him. They thrashed about in a big slime-slippery smash … Continue reading

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“Yessenia’s Turbine”

Yessenia’s Turbine First I’m building the turbine, and then the wings and then the plane. It already has a name, the whole plane: Mexicano II. I’m building the turbine first and I’ll paint it green because that’s what color Mexicano … Continue reading

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Friday Fictioneers: “Biggest Backyard”

Biggest Backyard I’m listening for her chain-jingle on the wrong side of our fence. Moving through the dry bamboo reeds we use as swords, the trees running branch tips through my hair. I consider the ticks, droplets bobbing on the … Continue reading

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Flash Fiction: “Pancakes and Beer”

Pancakes and Beer I want to beat my dad up but I can’t because he’ll ground me. There has to be a way to beat up my dad. Oh. I move the kitchen chair so I can step up and … Continue reading

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Flash Fiction: “Two Rings”

Two Rings He didn’t realize he had two wedding bands on his finger until after he’d already gotten into a conversation with firstWife about babies. Earlier, he’d slid the cool ring right up against the engraved one already there. He’d … Continue reading

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Posted in Fiction, Practically Humorous, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments