Short Scary Stories: Clowns at the Bank

evil clowns at bank

Squeaky Schnoz makes a withdrawal.

Flash Fiction: Clowns at the Bank

I’ve been after Clownin’ Around since they took Fleet Street bank. There’s a load of them all in clown suits. They tumble messy through the front doors and stampede right through the undertrained security guards no matter how fat or gun-having. The leader, Squeaky Schnoz, all animated and dancy, surfs in on the general momentum of the others and then he gives a speech that goes a little like this:

“What’s up there boys and goils? Me and deez clowns is gonna perform a magic trick right before your very asses! We’s going to make all the dough in the vault go poof!”

There’s like fifteen of them, sometimes more. Sometimes less. Sometimes exactly. Sometimes the makeup changes but Squeaky Schnoz is constant. He’s the brand. Bad clown. Evil clown. He’s always got the same loud circus spandex with the walnut dick bulge. Same big yellow smile-island with a red smiling lips inside. Same shining crazyboy eyes. He keeps a honker in his hand and if someone pisses him off he honks once. That means: don’t piss me off again or I’ll honk a second time. If he honks a second time, that means: I hope you like tommy guns.

They’ve wasted five people total so far and left blood-speckled helium balloon poodles on the bodies, anchored there with candycane bakery string hooped around the wrists. The clowns work fast. They clear out the vault and then the whole gaggle recedes from the bank like a wave at the beach sucking back into the ocean. And the most freakin’ thing of all? They got just this one small Fiat and somehow they all fit in there. All fifteen, sixteen of them. Schnoz drives. And then they’re off, and once they’re gone they’re gone.

Copyright 2015 Earl Hatsby

Evil clowns aren’t the only ones robbing banks in my blog–there’s some ghoulish competition out there. Check out one of my short scary stories: “The Scary Robbers.” Don’t read it alone!

If my short horror stories aren’t short- or horrible-enough for you, check out these amazing two-sentence short scary stories. Some of them are amazingly effective! I agree with the author of the post–the best is definately number 6!

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