How Eddie Murphy Lost His Funniness: 8 Theories

murphy-vampire

Le Vampyre Murphee can’t be expected to stay jovial forever!

What happened to Eddie Murphy? The comic legend’s hugely anticipated appearance at February’s SNL 40th anniversary special on NBC had a lot of us secretly hoping for a much overdo return-to-form. And if ever there were an occasion for Eddie Murphy to revert to his former hysterical ways, the big SNL Reunion was surely the time and place, no?

No.

When Eddie finally ambled onto the stage following Chris Rock’s funny, heartfelt introduction, Eddie gave us nothing but a big fat “Thanks!” Not exactly the comedy gold we were hoping for.

So seriously, what happened to Eddie Murphy’s funniness?Practicallyserious.com has been sent in to investigate…

 8 Excuses for Eddie Murphy’s Current Lack of Funniness

1.) He now operates at such a high frequency of funny that we can simply no longer “hear” his humor. It’s beyond us now. Like how some frequencies of sound can only be heard by a dog? Now his jokes can only be heard by him or others of his ilk.

2.) His initial deal with the devil, which allowed for his great success in the first place, was structured in a front-loaded kind of way. He is now well into the devil-cackling-in-the-background phase of the deal.

3.) Dr. Evil stole his mojo.

4.) As evidenced by the image above, Eddie Murphy is actually a vampire who’s been around for hundreds and hundreds of years. Understandably, after two centuries of watching all of his friends and family grow old while he’s trapped in the same ol’ Eddie Murphy body, he’s finally realized that his affliction is not a blessing, but a curse. Thus the generally solemn demeanor.

5.) His funniness was stolen via a proprietary brain-scan device and used to fuel the hugely successful blog, practicallyserious.com.

6.) Sometime around 1985 he went to his private physician complaining that he was “feeling funny,” and the doctor, misunderstanding him, issued him a regimen of highly experimental anti-humor drugs. Unfortunately the effect was permanent.

7.) Comedy is a fickle bitch. In the same way that some actors are less handsome in the high definition format (due to all those gross pores and veins and stuff) Eddie Murphy is somehow less funny in full HD. Back in low definition tube-TV days the guy was a comedy god, but today’s high resolution format paints his mustache and tooth-gap and whatever else in a whole new light, thus bursting our bubble and spoiling the magic. And, unfortunately for him, all television shows and movies nowadays are shot on and presented in glorious HD. So yeah, he’s basically screwed.

8.) In his older age he has simply become a more considerate guy, thus hampering his ability to prey on others for laughs*

*as evidenced by Eddie Murphy’s refusal to take part in the SNL Reunion “Celebrity Jeopardy” Bill Cosby joke.

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This entry was posted in Funny Posts, Lists, Practically Humorous and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to How Eddie Murphy Lost His Funniness: 8 Theories

  1. List of X says:

    It’s never a good idea to admit that you have a proprietary brain scan device.

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