I’m not the kind of person who likes to create strange food combinations just for the sake of trying something different. The weirdest food combo you’re gonna get out of me is granny smith apples and peanut butter, which I haven’t had in many years now. I don’t know what I’ve been waiting for. Apples and peanut butter is a real texture party. Gooey and crispy and bitter and delicious.
I imagine food “splicing” is more about the thrill and the texture than it is about inventing new Willy Wonka-ish flavors. Let’s throw together slimy food A with crunchy food B, and mix in a little chunky food C, and then tell all our friends about how wacky we are!
Does anyone legitimately believe that their wacky food splices are better than those two food items eaten individually? What did Fat Elvis claim he liked? Peanut Butter, Banana, and Bacon all stacked together in one sandwich. I’m guessing Elvis was so drunk/drugged he couldn’t fully appreciate what was going on flavor-wise, anyway. He just loved crunching down on that awesome Texture Grenade.
Now that I mention it, bacon is probably one of the best foods to splice other foods with. You’re guaranteed delightful texture chaos.
Foods to Mix With Bacon (for maximum texture chaos)
- Bacon and apple sauce.
- Bacon and scrambled eggs (mixed together in a texture sludge).
- Bacon and oatmeal.
- Bacon and pizza.
- Bacon and key lime pie.
- Bacon and cottage cheese.
- Bacon and cheesecake.
- Bacon and liquified bacon.
The list can go on and on. Bacon texturizes even the slimmest, fluffiest dish. I can see why Elvis requested bacon in his Peanut Butter/Banana sandwiches. I just can’t see why he wanted peanut butter/banana sandwiches in the first place; those’re both mushy textures, which don’t tend to splice well. Probably because you can’t quite tell the mushy foods apart, and so you get a little confoods.
Question: Would Elvis have eaten a peanut better/banana sandwich without the added bacon? Did Fat Elvis know the secret of splicing foods: that you must encourage disparate flavor and texture sensations. Or did Fat Elvis simply not give a flying f-ck? “Give it here, I’m starrrving!”
Probably the latter. Definitely the latter.
I originally wanted to write this post about eating pretzels and little ripped up triangles of swiss cheese, which is my other trademark splice besides peanut butter and apples. A nice soft cutting of swiss cheese laid atop a salty, crunchy Synder’s brand mini-pretzel? Texture chaos! I’m starting to feel like Fat Elvis here just thinking about it. For a second time in the same post, I say: “Give it here, I’m starrrrving!”
What about you, reader? Have any ideal food splices you want to share? What are your thoughts on my Texture-based theory of food splicing?
This post was based on a Daily Post writing prompt: “Unlikely Pairing” http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/unlikely-pairing/
Check out my classic food rant Upside-Down Hamburgers and Folded Pizza Slices