Netflix helps you get more fit. Did you know that? Let me explain…
I pretty much jog two miles every day. Any more than that—three, fours miles—and it becomes too much; I start not wanting to do it anymore. Two miles is no big deal. I really feel that the secret to working out is to develop a routine that doesn’t intimidate you. It’s probably better to work out a little every single day, than to hit the gym and go nuts once or twice a week(and probably strain yourself).
At least that’s the theory I’m sticking to. And I’ve managed to be pretty consistent over the years, so I guess I’m doing something right.
I think the necessary ingredients to a stable mini-workout routine are…
- the desire to feel healthy—body and mind
- the desire to be a sexy beast
- a loaded-ass iPod
- the desire to drop your Netflix envelope into the mailbox on the corner
It’s that last one that really motivates me. Because I’ll usually jog right before the postman collects the mail from the mailbox on my corner. I can catch him if I’m motivated, and then, since I’m already out and about, I’ll just continue onward to the park and jog my two miles.
Oftentimes I don’t really feel like jogging, for whatever reason. Could be my legs are sore, or it’s a little too hot out, or there have been reports that an axe murderer is loose in my preferred jogging-park. Whatever. I just don’t feel like getting off my ass. But then all of a sudden I remember I have a Netflix dvd that needs to go back, and if I leave for my jog right now I can catch the mailman on my way to the park.
And, before leaving the house, I’ll do a certain amount of sit-ups and weight-lifting just to get beefed up and sexificated. So really, you might say I have an entire, stable workout routine based entirely on my desire to get the next movie in my Netflix queue as soon as humanly possible.
I’m telling you, this really gets me off my butt. It’s not even that I’m particularly desperate to see the next movie in my Netflix queue or anything. It’s just that I hate having a watched Netflix dvd laying around the house like a bum when there’s a perfectly good mailbox nearby beckoning for me to feed it. In said mailbox the dvd sleeve could be doing some real good. I want that baby to start its journey back to the Netflix processing plant as soon as possible. No hanging around the house taking up space! Earn your keep, Red Dvd Sleeve!
When I have an Netflix dvd sleeve sitting on my computer desk, I find it very difficult to not jog. The idea of walking to the mailbox, dropping in the dvd, and then simply walking back home, seems silly to me. Really, it seems like a waste of time. I’m a writer, and when I break my concentration/routine to go do some “life stuff,” it had better be worth it. I figure you might as well get your money’s worth once you’re out of the house.
Plus, it really feels good to drop a Netflix dvd sleeve into a mailbox. It’s cathartic. You feel like you’ve done all you can do for the poor fella and now he has to become his own man. Plus, you can then rest assured that soon Netflix’ll be sending you your next movie, and there’s nothing more you need to do. You could be lazy as hell from that point on if you really wanted to. That is, as soon as you get back from jogging.
If you’re a Netflix subscriber, and the idea of jogging automatically trigger your gag reflex, do yourself a favor and try my Netflix workout routine. You get into shape, you feel great, and you get to see way, WAY more movies than you were going to if you had simply remained a chronic couch potato.
Check out my recent satirical post about Netflix’s controversial logo change