You all know you’ve done it. Something big happens, something worthy of celebration, and you double-punch your fist in the air and say “Yes! We got tickets to see the new Tom Cruise movie! Woot Woot!” or “Yes! I just bought a 3D Printer and can now print entire pizzas in my home office! Woot woot!”
Okay. Who am I kidding? There’s something satisfying about saying (or typing) “woot woot” during times of joy. Especially with doing the double-punch. Something safe and familiar about being just another corny woot wooter.
But where did this thing come from, and—actually, screw it, because no matter what the answer is, it shouldn’t have become a socially acceptable thing to say. The phrase is hella juvenile and meaningless. Almost as juvenile and meaningless as saying “hella,” even. You sound like a horse’s ass when you say it. I want you to know this.
You know what comes to my mind when I think of somebody saying “woot woot?” I see a skin-peely, overweight sea lion sitting on a rock amidst the breakers on some beach somewhere. This sea lion hears one of his friends back on shore go “woot woot,” and, because he’s a sea lion and doesn’t have the faculties to come up with a more clever response, he mindlessly echoes the last thing he heard: “woot woot!” Then, quite unexpectedly, he falls sideways off his rock into the jaws of a shark, which had tracked him to this very spot thanks to all the mindless “woot wooing.”
My thing is: why don’t people just say “Whoo!” or even “WhooHoo!” like they used to? Or even “Yahoo!”? Well, no, I guess maybe yahoo has been stripped of its original meaning by the search-engine of the same name. But last time I checked, Whoo! and Oh Yeah!!! are not yet publicly traded tech companies. Not that I know of. And though you’d sound just as idiotic saying these alternate phrases, at least you’re not adding superfluous T’s to the general whooing.
Because it’s all about the “T.” That’s the real problem. Frankly, it’s not natural. It doesn’t look natural and it doesn’t sound natural. And who’s the genius who decided to add the “T” anyway? I mean, why not “B?” Would not “Woob woob” work just as stupidly? And it comes earlier in the alphabet, so it’s more convenient.
But I say let’s get rid of the double-word thing in the first place. There are so many other things you could be saying. Next time something cool happens to you, something that makes you watch to pump your fist and shout something giddily, think about ditching the “woot woot” and going with these easy alternatives…
Less Lemming-like Alternatives to Woot Woot
- Oh Yeah!!!
- Bossa nova
- Chevy Nova
- Oh Danny Boy, the pipes the pipes are wooting!
- You jellin’? I’m jellin’
- Hurrah for Hollywoooood!
- Woog woog!
- I am become death
- Meesa going hoooommme!!!
- Hip hip huzzahh!
- Victory to the Macleods!*
*my personal favorite
Okay, I guess I’m done. Just seriously—don’t be a woot wooter. Choose from my list, please. Or, better yet, come up with your own woot woot alternative and share it with me!
Okay, I’m finally done writing this ridiculous article! Woog woog!
If you liked this article, check out Alternate Ways to Say “At The End of the Day”