8 Incredible Lies Men Tell Their Barbers

I got a haircut yesterday and, even though it actually turned out OK, it got me thinking of all the lies men tell their barbers/hair stylists in order to keep things on an even keel. We do it to be polite, but we do it nonetheless. There’s a certain amount of denial and acceptance and forgiveness that goes into getting a bad haircut—at least when you brave a new barbershop or go with a new stylist. Most of us aren’t pushy enough to demand that our barber, after taking a little too much off the top, grab some Elmer’s and glue it back on in a sticky clump. No, instead we roll our eyes inwardly and force a brave smile and say, “Great job!” We figure it was probably our own fault for having hair in the first place.

I’ve compiled a quick list.

8 Lies Men Tell Their Barbers

1. “Thanks so much! Looks great!”
2. “Great job! You’ll be seeing me again.”
3. “Sweet. I won’t be putting on a ratty baseball hat the second I get back to my car!”
4. “Awesomeness. I’m gonna feel great when I give you your tip!”
5. “Wow! Great work! Now I don’t all of a sudden look like I’m balding at the temples!”
6. “Wonderful! Now the back of my head doesn’t look like a galloping horse’s ass!”
7. “Wow. I like how you made me look like Jim Carrey from ‘Dumb and Dumber.'”
8. “Incredible! Hey, listen, can you tell me what your work schedule’s like? Specifically: which days do you have off? Because I want to make sure you’re here the next time I come!”

For more bad haircut humor, check out my post: 7 Signs Your New Haircut’s a Lemon

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4 Responses to 8 Incredible Lies Men Tell Their Barbers

  1. List of X says:

    Well, yeah. As if you’re seriously going to criticize someone holding sharp scissors and possibly a razor by your neck.

  2. Doobster418 says:

    The good news for me is that I don’t have to lie to any barbers, since I have very little hair on the top of my head anymore and once a week I take my beard trimmer and run it over the the weeds that yet grow above my ears.

    A few years ago I wrote a post with a different slant. It was not about lies men tell their barbers, but about lies barbers tell their patrons. If you have a chance, you might enjoy that post. Here’s the link: http://mindfuldigressions.com/2012/03/17/it-must-be-true-my-barber-said-so/

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