3D Printer Fiction: Inch By Inch (Part 5)
The whiteness and the blue popping things, which he knew, even in his emergency defcon 5 starvation state, were only a result of high starve-factor mixed with hotness, got worse and worse every second and centimeter gained. He found himself face to face with a big brown ant, which, itself, was surrounded by all these weird alien probes (really just more of those blue starvation poppers). The ant didn’t know what to do so it turned around and disappeared in the grass. It was well-fed. Not afraid. Today was a normal day for it.
As for life-saving food there’s just one hope, Linus thought now. The 3D Printer. His dad didn’t know it – nor did that piranha Beatrice – but Linus had successfully installed the printer driver and had even made a successful test print on a day when the rest of the family had gone to Angus Steak House for Beatrice’s mostly straight Bs (one C) on her report card. Linus had joked that the straight Bs stood for breakfast, bagels, and blueberry pie, and thus was told to stay home. Anyway, the test had been a whopping success. Out the slice of pepperoni came like the man at the beginning of a parade. One step two step. Linus’d clocked the print job at eight minutes (on super fast “draft” mode). Then he timed how fast he ate the slice: eight seconds (on super fast “hungry” mode).
Yes, it later gave him a sort of strange “pee diarrhea,” but he was too young be able to accurately trace back the causes of various diarrheas, and so, to him, the event was completed unrelated. He just thought that diarrhea was something you get every once in a while for no reason. For being alive. Hence, even while he was sitting there on the toilet being bored, he knew he’d happily do it all again in a heartbeat. The 3D pizza had tasted a little like Papa John’s, only better because there was the naughty James Bond thrill of not telling anybody about the unauthorized print test. At the time he thought, Next time everyone’s out of the house, Phase 2 of testing begins.
Except there never was such an opportunity. Until (hopefully hopefully) a few minutes from now…
Catch up on the whole epic saga (you won’t find exciting “3D Printer Fiction” anywhere else!)
For non-3D Printer-related stories, check out this quirky fiction about a senile spy.