Recent practicallyserious.com blog-post “Religious Similarities Between Ancient Assyria and Ancient Greece” has been moved to the practicallyserious.com sheriff’s department as a precautionary measure following a random act of property damage earlier today. Reports indicate that a large brick was thrown through the living room window of the “normal” blog-post’s home. The rock reportedly included a note, which read: “Assyrian noboddy liekes yu.”
Shortly after blog-post “Religious Similarities Between Ancient Assyria and Ancient Greece” arrived at the sheriff’s office, crowds of angry practicallyserious.com blog-posts, including “8 Reasons Men Keep their Eyes Open When Making Out With Women” and “5 Unorthodox Tips to Help You Save at the Pump,” gathered outside bearing torches and handmade signs.
Sherriff Poindexter addressed the crowd shortly thereafter: “Now you listen good. Assyrian is under my protection. Nobody can get at him. He’s a citizen of this wacky blog like all the rest of you and nobody’s gonna—”
A rock struck Poindexter’s head at that point, according to witnesses.
Blog-post “5 Unorthodox Tips to Help You Save at the Pump” then reportedly said: “Eh, Sheriff, you’re a wuss and everybody knows it. Ain’t got no spine. Don’t be a hero. It don’t suit you none. The Assyrian don’t belong here, he’s way too normal for this blog. He’s not particularly fun or weird or anything. He’s stinking up the place with his scholarly facts. Hand him over so we can submit him to Wikipedia or something, get him out of our hair. If you don’t, we’ll tear down the walls and get him ourselves.” Cheers from the crowd ensued. Angry/evil prune faces.
At about that point Sheriff Poindexter reportedly puffed out his chest and said, “Over my dead body” and was then immediately struck in the head with more rocks.
Moments later, on the other side of practicallyserious.com, Mayor Bobblestock declared a State of Emergency in the popular comedy blog. The WordPress National Guard soon showed up and dispersed the crowd.
According to our sources, Assyrian is still being kept in Sheriff Poindexter’s office.
More on this story as it develops.
To fill yourself in on this story, read “Blog-Citizens Protest Publication of ‘Normal’ Post”