These are the words for the wordfish. He breathes them and poops in them and then breathes them again. He lives right here in this blog, feeding on occasional “likes” and “follows” and “comments.” His name is Dave (per one of you). But here’s the problem: you guys have been feeding him too much. Last time we saw him he was just a wee little thing. He was hungry and scared. But now the guy’s bloated, confident, and taking up space. Look how big he is! He’s totally messing with the aesthetic here. What a sloppy-looking post. I’m embarrassed. He can barely fit in the words! Too many readers left “likes” last time, and now this is what we have to deal with. If you guys keep feeding him (or subscribing to this blog) who knows how big he’ll get. Geez, this never happened to the first wordfish, Patrick 2. Nobody really fed him and he just eventually died of starvation. I was kinda secretly hoping that would happen to Dave too, because I really didn’t want to have to keep worrying about him and changing his water all the time. I’m a young man. I kinda just wanted to live my life. But now I got a beluga whale on my hands. Thanks, readers.
Pick up my short story at Amazon!
Get my new sci-fi story, “Humanesque,” on Amazon!
- “Gory Details” Published Today at Animal Literary Magazine
- Attack of the Wolf/Cat: “Escape = Hard”
- Attack of the Wolf/Cat Abomination (Part 7)
- Attack of the Wolf/Cat Abomination (Part 6)
- Attack of the Wolf/Cat Abomination (Part 5)
- Trivago Guy Fan Fiction: “The Trials Begin”
- Attack of the Wolf/Cat Abomination (Part 4)
- Attack of the Wolf/Cat Abomination (Part 3)
- Attack of the Wolf/Cat Abomination (Part 2)
- Attack of the Wolf/Cat Abomination
- Scary Goodness
- FREE Horror Fiction Today and Tomorrow: “Green Thumb: A Short Story”
- “Green Thumb” Free Thursday and Friday (Aug 18 and 19)
- “Green Thumb” FREE on Amazon, Aug 14-15!
- “Green Thumb” Free on Kindle — Today, Saturday June 18
- Trivago Guy Fan Fiction: “The Lure of Churritos”
- Zombie Planetfall: Starblog 1
- Zombie Planetfall: Changing of the Guard (Part 1)
- Zombie Planetfall: “Incident at the Fence”
- Zombie Apocalypse Serial Novel: The Bunker
- A School Included This Teen's Service Dog In The Yearbook And It's The Purest Thing buzzfeed.com/kassycho/a-hig… via @kassyapple 10 hours ago
- Xenohorse twitter.com/RedMinus/statu… 2 days ago
- RT @CUTEFUNNYANIMAL: He's the hero this city deserves https://t.co/KrZ4TkIzr9 5 days ago
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.