Whether you’re in a long term relationship with Mr. Allergen, or you work with kids and catch a cold every other day, a runny stuffy nose can be a drag (it can even lead to a sinus infection). But before you run to the pharmacy looking for relief, don’t forget that there’s a silver lining to every cloud. Having your nose stuffed all the time certainly comes with its advantages.
6 Benefits to Having a Stuffy Nose, Always
- When you’ve got constant nasal congestion, premium Boston Clam Chowder tastes just as bland (to you) as generic, sugarless oatmeal. So you might as well just be healthy and eat the oatmeal. Lose a ton of weight.
- With your nose stuffy, your sense of smell is pretty much nonexistent. This is good. Since you can no longer smell whether or not anyone else is wearing deodorant, you might as well stop wearing it yourself. Because if you can’t get any benefit from other people smelling nice and clean, why should you smell nice and clean for them? Save some money.
- When you call in “sick” to work to gain a sweet three-day weekend, you don’t even have to pinch your nose when you tell your boss you’re under the weather. Just talk normal.
- With a stuffy nose you can fearlessly enter any bathroom at any time, no matter who just came out. No more “giving it a minute.” Save time!
- With a runny stuffy nose you can say all the crazy things you ever wanted to say to whoever you want, and when someone tells you to shut your mouth, you can tell them that you can’t because you’d suffocate.
- You don’t have to fear seasonal allergies anymore. With your nose stuffy already, what more can they really do to you? What more can they possibly take? Hell, if you want to, you can run out into the prairie, collect a bunch of pollen in a tin bucket, and freakin’ dump it over your head. Nothing. “YOU CAN’T HURT ME.”