Company Announces First 3D-Printed 3D Printer

3D Printer PrinterROYTON, Mass.—Solution Solutions Inc. has announced the world’s first operational 3D printer printed by a 3D Printer. The prototype unit has already been delivered to the Royton division of Burswar & Sons, which will use the traditional 3D printer to mass produce the company’s signature plastic lawn chairs.

Dr. Benedict Paulson, CAD designer of the 3D-printed printer said, “This unit is only the beginning.” Paulson said that Solution Solutions aims to be the first company to use 3D printing to mass produce 3D printers, which in turn can be used by the end user to mass produce a wide variety of products. Including lawn chairs.

Royton mayor Philip Maelstrom, on attendance at the high profile sales delivery, said, “This technology is amazing. In our case it’s going to help the local economy by helping a dependable, family-run business cheaply mass produce affordable, quality merchandise. This helps the economy. It helps us help ourselves.”

3D Printing, as a technological trend, is expected by many to usher in an explosive era of DIY manufacturing, where companies can bypass the often prohibitive costs of outsourced components and produce essential materials from within. Though only simple objects like basic furniture items and pepperoni pizzas (check out our recent article on the subject) are currently within the grasp of the technology, 3D printers will soon be able to produce more complex machinery. “Machines that can give birth to more machines,” said Paulson in a recent television interview.

Paulson says the successful delivery of a 3D-printed 3D printer marks only the very first step in his company’s overall strategy. “Yeah. Totally just the beginning,” said Paulson. “Next step, of course, is to build a 3D Printer that can print a second 3D printer that can print a third 3D printer that can then be used by companies like Burswar & Sons to print simple things like plastic lawn chairs.

The inevitable accessibility of 3D printers—thanks to 3D printers—will birth an entire new industry. An industry of making things that make things. If you give a starving man a fish, he’ll be hungry the next day. You teach a starving man to fish, he’ll never be hungry again. You give a starving man a 3D printer, he’ll just go ahead and print the fish. This way you don’t have to stay up all late the night before trying come up with lesson plans about all these fishing techniques and different type of lures yadda yadda yadda.”

Paulson went on to outline Solution Solutions Inc.’s ambitious 60-year-plan.

We here at practicallyserious.com are happy to provide to our readers the unedited breakdown:

Solution Solutions Inc. 2013-2066 Prospectus

Company’s manufacturing goals:

2016: 3D Printer that can print a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print lawn chairs.

2018: 3D Printer that can print a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print lawn chairs.

2023: A series of robotic arms that can, with minimal supervision, build a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print lawn chairs.

2026: A series of robotic arms that can, with minimal supervision, build a second series of robotic arms that can autonomously build a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print lawn chairs.

2036: 3D fleshprinter that can print a living human fetus that can grow up to be a roboticist who can, with minimal supervision, build a series of robotic arms that can autonomously build a second series of robotic arms that can, with minimal supervision, build a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print lawn chairs.

2047: 3D fleshprinter that can fleshprint a fully-formed pregnant human female who can give birth to a living human baby who can grow up to be a roboticist who can, with minimal supervision, build a series of robotic arms that can autonomously build a second series of robotic arms that can, with minimal supervision, build a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print a 3D printer that can print lawn chairs.

2066: An intelligent, self-aware lawn chair that can be groomed for leadership within the company.

Read my related article: Making Pizza with 3D Printers

Or, if you’re in the mood for some 3D Pizza-Printer-inspired fiction (and I know you are), check out my serial short story Inch By Inch!

 

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Editorial, Practically Humorous, Practically Serious News. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s