12 Questions From Your Doctor You Should Answer With Lies

12 Questions From Your Doctor You Should Answer With Lies

doctorDisclaimer: Most of the time you should never lie to your doctor. When you lie to your doctor the only person who loses is you. Doctors are very much like computers. If you don’t type stuff into them, they don’t really do anything. If you are not completely honest with them about your symptoms and/or bad habits, those great and powerful men of medicine might be gypped some “incidental” detail that could have been the key to his/her providing you with an accurate, maybe lifesaving, diagnosis.

But that’s not to say that there’re never times when you should lie to your doctor. Because there are. Sometimes, guys, when you’re in the examining room, sitting there on the cool strip of wax paper, twiddling your thumbs; it is, in fact, highly appropriate for you to lie to your doctor. Sometimes a little white lie might save you a boatload of dignity, safeguard your masculinity, and shield your self-confidence.

Please enjoy the following 12 common medical check-up questions where (depending on what the answers are)  it’s probably better for all involved you just lie.

12 Questions From Your Doctor You Should Answer With Lies

  1. “Are you sexually active?”
  2.  “Do you masturbate?”
  3. “How many times a day?”
  4.  “Did you ever get that friend request I sent you on facebook like three months ago?”
  5. “Have you ever had sexual intercourse with my wife?”
  6. How many times in an average day do you have sexual intercourse with my wife?”
  7. “Do you still live with your parents even though you’re 46?”
  8. “Have you ever fornicated with a goat in the barn behind the farmhouse?”
  9. “How many times in an average day do you fornicate with a goat in the barn behind the farmhouse?”
  10. “Good lord.”
  11.  “What would you do if you were in a store and an old lady, obviously down on her luck, pocketed a bag of Werther’s Originals and left without paying for them?”
  12.  “Why are you disrobing? I’m a dentist.”

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Reader(s), have you ever lied to your doctor to avoid embarrassment? If so, please share your sins with the rest of us!

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This entry was posted in Lists, Unorthodoxy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to 12 Questions From Your Doctor You Should Answer With Lies

  1. List of X says:

    If I am lying about something to my doctor, there is no way I am sharing it here.

  2. cestlavie22 says:

    Hi Derek! Now i have to agree most of that list I should prob lie about the answers 😉 However one question.. how do I lie about number 10? Is this one of those fancy trick questions? Will there be a blog post teaching me how to respond to those?

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