Flash Fiction: “The Scary Robbers”

The Scary Robbers

The scary robbers didn’t have guns but the people in the bank were frightened half to death anyway. There were three of them, the robbers, and they wore white sheets to hide their faces. Nobody had seen them come in. But suddenly there they were, making demands.

“The vault,” said the head robber. And when he spoke his deep deep voice echoed throughout the bank, reverberated off the smooth marble columns. A coffee mug rattled. A lady fainted. A man named Thom Bradley dampened the front of his starched Greenfield slacks. He wasn’t even embarrassed about this—just terrified.

It was only Sally Hotburger’s first week on the job—she’d been nervous all day even before the robbers. One look at them and she knew the protective glass wouldn’t protect her. Didn’t even bother with the alarm either. “Okay, okay, please give me a moment,” she stammered.

“Try anything and we take you with us,” said the robber. Somewhere somebody screamed.

Her hands shaking, knees weak, Sally made her way into the lobby and the robbers followed her to the massive vault door.

“Open it,” said the head robber.

Sally fumbled at the code, kept messing it up. Finally one of the robbers got frustrated and reached through her chest and clasped her heart and she died. Then, moments later, she became a fourth robber. “Welcome to the team,” said Heart-Clasper to the brand new robber, who was already draped in white sheets. Then Heart-Clasper turned to a bald banker and said, “How about you, big boy?”

The bald man had a stronger constitution than Hotburger had had, and he managed to open the bank vault for the robbers.

The robber team went inside and each member grabbed a burlap sack of newly-minted cash. The loaded sack floated in the air like helium balloons. Then the team floated back out of the vault and headed for the front doors, which were still open.

The fourth robber was still so new she goofed pretty bad. She didn’t realize that physical objects such as money bags couldn’t travel through hard surfaces, and when she floated quietly through the front wall the bag of money stayed behind and fell to the floor. The other three robbers laughed hysterically at this, and, inside the bank, three more patrons’ fainted.

Copyright 2012, Earl Hatsby


This story marks the second episode of “Scary Blog-Posts to Tell in the Dark.”

Check out episode 1!

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2 Responses to Flash Fiction: “The Scary Robbers”

  1. cestlavie22 says:

    I like how this is dark comedy. I can picture this woman becoming a ghost and dropping her money because she doesnt quite get the mechanics of being a ghost. My suggestion? Gore up the heart clasping part. Make it really sick and disturbing and then change the mood when you lay on the humor. I think that would bring more punch to the ending.

    • Bill Carson says:

      sweet suggestion! although I felt I had to be careful not to give the ghosts too much “physical” ability (besides holding a bag of money, that is). I figured the best they could do is make you have a heart attack. But more than that, I wanted the ghost to just casually kill the girl as if it’s no big deal. Just reach over and make her dead, like turning off the kitchen light on the way into the living room.

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