Flash Fiction: “Pancakes and Beer”

Pancakes and Beer

I want to beat my dad up but I can’t because he’ll ground me. There has to be a way to beat up my dad.


I move the kitchen chair so I can step up and reach where mom keeps the stuff and the blue thing of pancake mix that puffs when I squeeze it like it smokes, and it sounds quiet just like how when Sassie wakes herself up because she farted. I am so mad. I am angry. As soon as I find the pancake mix.

He drank beers again and I told him not to drink three beers. He had three beers and he’s acting dumb and I told him not to act dumb and drink three beers.  And then he eats the rest of the Fritos. I hate him. I’m gonna beat him up but I can’t because if I do I’ll be grounded. I hate hate hate him for the beers that he left on the table by the television in a straight line and empty. I think one of the bottles is on some of my Yu-Gi-Oh cards that I left there on the table!!!!! Why is there a beer on my cards can you tell me that?

Where’s the pancake mix? It should be here and it’s not. Maybe dumb mom moved it.

I said don’t drink three beers or I’ll be mad and he drank beers on the couch just now. He hates me because he drinks beers even when I say don’t drink beers, and I tell my evil twin sister I hate dad 5% more than you now. I want to beat him up so bad. And why is the only thing I know how to make pancakes can you tell me that?

It was three beers or two.

I want to beat him up so I need the pancake mix.

He likes small pancakes with butter and syrup and only I can make them like he likes them. I know because that’s what he tells me and he eats all of them. Then he pretends to want to eat my hands because there’s syrup on them and he wants more pancakes. So I say Oh here we go again and I have to go make more with mom. I make them every Saturday for him to surprise him and one time I got up early by myself not even mom and I made four of them and then I remembered he was gone visiting Uncle Jose that weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Small and with syrup, Aunt Jemina he likes, and with orange juice and I make toast too. But nobody wants just toast so I need the pancake mix and dumb mom or my evil twin sister moved it.

I am so mad. When I was in my room I heard him downstairs laughing dumb and I said Oh here we go again.

He’s funny I admit but he drinks beers then he eats the rest of the Fritos.

Because I will make him breakfast in bed tomorrow just how he likes it and then he won’t ground me after I beat him up right now. But I can’t find the pancake mix and I can’t just make toast and orange juice so, once again, nobody cares about Yessenia.

He is soooooo lucky I can’t find the pancake mix. Soooooooooo lucky holy crap.


For another Yessenia adventure check out this story.

For more kid-themed flash fiction, check out this story.

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