(inspired by Stephen R. Covey’s popular self-help book “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People,” which has sold more than 25 million copies in 38 languages since its first publication!)

The Seven Habits of Highly Successful Men

1. Lying.

2. Whoring/adultery.

3. Steak.

4. Masquerade orgies.

5. “Perfect” murder.

6. Hunting Humans for sport.

7. Throwing midgets.