5 Stupid Times to Take a Shower

5 Stupid Times to Take a Shower

  1. Right before you go jogging. If you take a nice, refreshing shower right before you go jogging, you’ll just want to take another shower after you get home. And then you’ll feel stupid.
  2. Right before you go to the beach.  Some people take showers right before they go to the beach. I don’t get this. The seawater’s all nasty. It cancels out the shower right away. The parasites in the waves don’t give a fig about your Lever 2000. So you might as well just skip the pre-beach shower and be nasty goin’ in!
  3. Right before you take a shower. If you take a shower right before you’re about to take a shower, you’ll find that you already feel clean and smell clean and look clean, and when you take that second shower you won’t be able to shake a guilty feeling that you’re now simply wasting water and time.
  4. Right before you mud-wrestle. I know some people that think it’s a good idea to shower before their league mud-wrestling matches because they don’t want to get any dirt in the mud. I just don’t get this at all.
  5. Right before you take a bath. Some well-to-do gentlemen take a nice long shower before their scheduled nightly bath. After they’re all clean from the shower and dried off and spritzed with cologne and dressed in a nice pink velvet robe, they wait about fifteen or twenty minutes and then they go ahead and get naked again and take their bath. There are a lot of things wrong with this: wasting water, wasting towels, wasting soap, wasting cologne.
  6. When You Think That 1 + 1 = 7.  If you take a shower at the moment you think that 1 + 1 = 7, then that’s just about the stupidest time you could possibly take a shower.
  7. When You Title Your Post “5 Stupid Times to Take a Shower” but have 7 Items in the Article. If you title your post “5 Stupid Times to Take a Shower” but then have 7 items in the article, and then you take a shower, that’s actually even a stupider time to take a shower than the time mentioned in item 6. Good job.

Check out my other blog over at Yahoo Voices!

This entry was posted in Lists, Practically Humorous, Unorthodoxy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to 5 Stupid Times to Take a Shower

  1. I sometimes like to think pre-sex showering is kind of ridiculous. Unless you’re really funky, I would say it’s better to just wait until after you’re done getting sweaty and whatnot.

  2. susielindau says:

    You forgot the most important one. WHEN THERE IS A MURDERER IN THE HOUSE!
    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I thing we probably have the same warped sense of humor!

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