- Right before you go jogging. If you take a nice, refreshing shower right before you go jogging, you’ll just want to take another shower after you get home. And then you’ll feel stupid.
- Right before you go to the beach. Some people take showers right before they go to the beach. I don’t get this. The seawater’s all nasty. It cancels out the shower right away. The parasites in the waves don’t give a fig about your Lever 2000. So you might as well just skip the pre-beach shower and be nasty goin’ in!
- Right before you take a shower. If you take a shower right before you’re about to take a shower, you’ll find that you already feel clean and smell clean and look clean, and when you take that second shower you won’t be able to shake a guilty feeling that you’re now simply wasting water and time.
- Right before you mud-wrestle. I know some people that think it’s a good idea to shower before their league mud-wrestling matches because they don’t want to get any dirt in the mud. I just don’t get this at all.
- Right before you take a bath. Some well-to-do gentlemen take a nice long shower before their scheduled nightly bath. After they’re all clean from the shower and dried off and spritzed with cologne and dressed in a nice pink velvet robe, they wait about fifteen or twenty minutes and then they go ahead and get naked again and take their bath. There are a lot of things wrong with this: wasting water, wasting towels, wasting soap, wasting cologne.
- When You Think That 1 + 1 = 7. If you take a shower at the moment you think that 1 + 1 = 7, then that’s just about the stupidest time you could possibly take a shower.
- When You Title Your Post “5 Stupid Times to Take a Shower” but have 7 Items in the Article. If you title your post “5 Stupid Times to Take a Shower” but then have 7 items in the article, and then you take a shower, that’s actually even a stupider time to take a shower than the time mentioned in item 6. Good job.
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