Today we have some special guests here at practicallyserious.com, a team of paranormal investigating bloggers who have agreed to search my blog for signs of paranormal activity. I don’t really believe in this stuff but I have been hearing some weird things on my blog lately and it’s been making me a little nervous, and I figure I should have been Freshly Pressed by now and so clearly there is some kind of spirit/presence frolicking somewhere inside my blog, working against me. So I figured I’d ask these ghost hunter guys to come in and take a look and maybe put my mind at ease. This way I can just get back to making my wacky lists and Jaguar-themed Would-You-Rather games.
Okay gentlemen, the blog’s all yours.
Thank you, Derek. Hello practicallyserious.com readers, my name is Bob Wickipy and this is my partner Lawrence Tolchin and we’re paranormal investigating bloggers and Derek asked us to come and take a look at his blog here. Uh, just a little about ourselves first. Our resume, so to speak. We are professional paranormal investigating bloggers and between the two of us we’ve logged over 100 hours of paranormal blog post investigation, we’ve had direct contact with over 35 spirit entities, most of which were likely the disembodied spirits of long abandoned, dead blogs. We are experts.
So first we’re going to take a look at the following paragraph. You ready Lawrence? Yeah? Cool, let’s go.
Okay, so Bob Wickipy here with Lawrence Tolchin, and we’re paranormal investigating bloggers and here we are in a paragraph in a post in the blog practicallyserious.com. And so far we’re not seeing anything really. Just the words I’m saying and some periods and commas and stuff. Nothing much here. Hey Lawrence, make sure your night-vision camera is recording right now. The night-vision camera is one of our best paranormal investigating devices. Too bad it looks kinda creepy when you look at something in night vision, but I guess what can you do, right? (Door slams shut). Oh CRAP! What the hell was that, what was that, WHAT WAS THAT? Sounded like it happened somewhere else in this paragraph. Maybe a few lines ago. I mean, you heard that, right Lawrence? Yeah? I mean, like, what the hell was it, any ideas? What’s that, Lawrence? Maybe it was Derek? Nah. Nah. Can’t be, Lawrence. Derek left this blog to us for the night. He was too afraid to stay here while we did our thing. He totally left the blog and now he’s hanging out in this blog trying to lift books until he grows breasts. It wasn’t him man. It wasn’t him. (door slams shut) OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD let’s get the hell out of this paragraph…
Okay folks, Bob Wickipy here with Lawrence Tolchin and we’re here in the blog practicallyserious.com and we’re here in another paragraph looking for more signs of paranormal blog activity. In case you are just joining us, we’ve made contact with a level 3 spirit in the previous paragraph and Lawrence caught the whole thing on his tape recorder and so we have hard proof that this blog is haunted with a level 3 spirit of a long-abandoned blog. As you know, a level 3 blog spirit is like a medium-power spirit. Usually from blogs that got abandoned after only five or six posts. Normally a result of sheer laziness on the blogger’s part. “aaaaahhhhhgrunnnnnnn” Okay, what the HELL was that? Did you here that Lawrence? Think it was an EVP [Electronic Voice Phenomenon]. Tell me you heard that. You did! You got that on tape? Yeah? Okay, rewind it and play it again.
OH MY GOD, definitely an EVP, definitely a blogging spirit trying to talk to us. But what is it saying? Is it me or does that sound like it’s saying, “Save me”? It does right? “Save me.” Maybe like, “Save me from my purgatory here in Derek’s disappointing blog.” Go ahead, Lawrence, play it again.
OH WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT JUST A MINUTE. I don’t think it’s saying “Save me.” No. No. I got it all wrong. It sounds more like the spirit is saying “Save…yourself.” LET’S GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS PARAGRAPH!
Okay folks, Bob Wickipy here and I got Lawrence Tolchin with me too, and if you’re just joining us we just got threatened by a level 7, maybe 8 blog spirit. At first I thought it was just a Level 3, but Level 3s generally would never threaten you unless you were somehow directly involved with the reason its blog died a premature death. But Lawrence and I, we only leave very positive, very encouraging comments on any of the blogs we read so we definitely had nothing to do with any blog deaths. * So, anyway, here we are…wait a minute. Did you see that, Lawrence? No? I mean, I feel like I just saw something. Where, you ask? It was a couple sentences ago. Between the words “death” and “so.” It was like a little black spot. Totally didn’t make sense being there. I’m sure I saw something, Lawrence. Go ahead and check the green night vision video. Start from when I said, “But Lawrence and I.” Cool, this should be interesting.
But Lawrence and I, we only leave very positive, very encouraging comments on any of the blogs we read so we definitely had nothing to do with any blog deaths. * So, anyway, here we are…
OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT IS THAT? OH MY GOD! Oh my god, so, if you’re just joining us this is Bob Wickipy here and I’m with Lawrence Tolchin and we’re paranormal blog investigators and we just made visual contact with a level 20 disembodied blog spirit and I can honestly say that of all my investigation, over 100 of them, this is the most significant contact we’ve ever had with a disembodied blog spirit. No doubt about it, practicallyserious.com is a haunted blog. We have visual and audio proof that * a terrible…OH MY GOD. I just saw it again. Slowly, Lawrence. Let’s slowly inch our way towards the end of this post. No sudden movements, Lawrence. Don’t alarm the spirit. * SCREW IT, LET’S GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE THIS PLACE IS FREAKIN’ ME OUT!!!