Ultimate Would You Rather: Kevin Smith’s Underwear vs. Dying Jaguar

While the votes for UWYR 1 are still trickling in (it’s still not too late to have a say!), the time has come for another edition of Ultimate-Would-You-Rather. Today’s installment will challenge your creativity and push your imagination to the limit—this time, in addition to battling jaguars, you must also ponder existence as an inanimate object.  Good luck.


Would you rather be Kevin Smith’s underwear for an entire New York/Los Angeles plane flight?

Supplemental Information: He’s wearing Hanes tighty-whities. You are only responsible for the 6-to-7 hour plane flight, but remember that Kevin’s probably been wearing this same underwear for hours (maybe days) leading up to your assignment.


Would you rather be chased up a tree by a large, terminally-ill jaguar?

Supplemental Information: Yes, it’s dying. Won’t be long now. It’s dying before its time from some sad jaguar disease. But it hasn’t quite given over to despair just yet. It’s pissed that it’s dying in the prime of its life and so it has one last rush of energy. Wants one last meal. Can you outplay, outwit, and outlast the jaguar? Is it worth the risk?

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8 Responses to Ultimate Would You Rather: Kevin Smith’s Underwear vs. Dying Jaguar

  1. Congratulations, you won a blogging award. See my blog for details. Good job.

  2. genesismeranda says:

    Question: If I’m an inanimate object, do I really understand that I am the underwear rubbing against the unmentionables of a very large man? And will I have memory of the event after my 6-7 hour flight is complete?

  3. genesismeranda says:

    2nd Question: Although the experience itself will be utterly terrifying, is there a guarantee that I will not be mauled to death at the paws of said terminally-ill jaguar?

    • Bill Carson says:

      No. No guarantee. I can guarantee only that you will successfully make it into the tree. But whether or not you can successfully kick the terminally ill jaguar back to the ground, time after time, I’m making no promises. But do remember that this jaguar will likely die quite soon, and probably only has enough energy for a couple of real attempts up the tree. Then you should be okay (i think).

  4. genesismeranda says:

    Never mind previous question, I saw the last/first edition of UWUR. I’ve made my choice and will cast my vote.

  5. Jess says:

    Definitely the jaguar. You seem to be into jaguar-based ultimatums lately…

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