Completely Unorthodox Foods That Fight Depression


Guess what: nasty vegetables and soy products aren’t the only foods that fight depression.

Cheer up. You’re not alone. Depression is a serious issue that affects just about everybody at some point or another in their lives, even if they’re only depressed about not being depressed. Everyone has a different way of coping. Some folks seek the help of psychiatrists. Some exercise more. Some exercise less. Some read books by Tony Robbins. Some read the menu at Baskin-Robbins. I mean, it’s almost depressing how many options there are to fight depression because that means you’ve really got no excuse!

But many experts feel that the easiest, most effective way to help fight off simple depression is by simply by making some key, minor adjustments to your diet. While I’m sure the following tips won’t work for everyone, I’m not going to get depressed about it.

So put together a list of foods that fight depression.

Unorthodox Foods For Depression and Anxiety

1. Food taken from someone else’s plate.  If you’re depressed it’s usually because you consider yourself to be not-very-successful, which often stems from the fact that you don’t have a lot of money in the bank. Therefore a good way to help stave off depression is food taken from someone else’s plate when you’re at a nice restaurant, food that you quickly transfer to your own plate when the person gets up to use the bathroom. This is food that costs you zero money and therefore it will make you less depressed to eat it.

2. Food that makes you lose your trim physique. Seems counter-intuitive, but check it out. A lot of people are depressed because they feel they are not living up to their sexual potential. They feel that they are relatively good-looking and in pretty good shape and still can’t land a date. They feel like an unknown, unpublished short story of Ernest Hemingway, having been written hastily on the back of an envelope and then forgotten at the bottom of some dresser drawer, yearning to be shared with the world. Such people come to believe their potential is being wasted, and this is what makes them depressed. So, if you eat a whole bunch of foods loaded with carbs and fats and sugars and nastiness you will eventually start to lose your shiny lean physique, you will soon find your alone-ness makes total sense. No wasted potential. Your depression will subside!

3. Dog Food eaten directly out of your dog’s dish on the kitchen floor. If you do this for long enough eventually your dog will take notice and come to respect you. Your dog will appreciate how you sort of “lead by example,” how you’re not afraid to come down off your high horse and “eat with the men.” After a few weeks of this you will find that your dog actually, for once, snarls when someone makes pretend like they’re going to hit you. Even if the dog’s bluffing, it’s a start, and knowing that your dog finally respects you will curb your depression.

If you’d like to read a more serious article about foods for depression and anxiety, click the link.

This entry was posted in Funny Posts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Completely Unorthodox Foods That Fight Depression

  1. Ginger says:

    Reading this also aids in depression. You are hilarious!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s