A man was recently found trapped in his icebound car near the town of Umea on Sweden’s north-east coast, and when the rescuers finally got him out he told them he’d been in there–at -33 degrees Celsius–for two months. Experts say Peter Skyllberg, 44, miraculously survived because his low body temperature had induced his body into a sort of hibernation state, wherein his body required less food because he expended less energy. Dazed and shivering in a sleeping bag, Skyllberg was so frail and emaciated upon rescue he reportedly had only enough energy to speak, with any real clarity, a few solid words.

Only a few words with which to express what was surely a truly emotional experience! He had to have known his vocal output would be limited, and I think it would have been nice, motivational, beautiful, if those words had been something along the lines of “Never once did I lose hope, and that is what kept me alive,” or “I knew I wouldn’t die here in the snow, for I had the Lord with me.” But, c’mon, let’s not kid ourselves. Really, his designated few words probably went a little more like this: “See that crumpled paper bag down under the seat there? Yeah, you don’t want to look in there.”

"Wait a minute, something's not adding up, buddy! Where did that hot cup of Starbucks tea come from?"