Mind-Reading Skateboards Are Here

We may not yet have the pink hover boards from Back to the Future 2 but it turns out we’re sort of getting something to hold us over until then: a motorized skateboard that reads your mind! “The Board of Imagination,” developed by Chaotic Moon Labs in San Francisco, uses a Windows 8-based tablet computer to monitor the rider’s brainwaves. Never mind that you’ll need to wear a sci-fi headset that pretty much guarantees you’ll spend most of your brainwaves being concerned about how ridiculous you look–they’ve compensated for that! And good news for most of us: it doesn’t take much brain power to get this thing moving, you simply need to think of a point in the distance where you’d like to be and then picture in your head what speed you’d like to get there with. “Strip Club. 20 mph! Actually, make it 30. Engage!” And you’re off on motorized wheels with the clunky skateboard/machine beneath your feet awaiting its next orders. I’m serious!

Yes, a mind-reading electric skateboard sounds pretty cool. Sounds like the epitome of the perfect “invention,” like they’ve really found a way to eliminate a cumbersome step in a familiar everyday activity. Now you just stand on the skateboard, no leg-numbing “pushing” or shoe-scraping “breaking!” Yet, considering the potential applications of this extraordinary “psychic” technology–why limit yourself to the primarily young market of young skateboard kids who don’t have money? Why not something simple and safe that everyone could use, but equally “more convenient?” How about a mind-reading version of that ever popular invention from the 80’s: “The Clapper?” Let’s say you want to turn off the living room lamp but you don’t want to make all those darn “clapping” noises. With this new technology you could simply think about the sound of hands clapping and the room will suddenly go dark (just be sure to think-clap loud). Or how ‘bout a mind-reading console video game system where you simply think about what direction you want the pixilated Italian plumber character to run, and then the joystick moves all by itself! Ooh, got one more for you: a mind-reading smart phone! All you do is think of the name (first and last) of the person you’d like to call and then the phone number conveniently pops up on the 3.2-inch screen and you don’t have to do anything else except dial it in on the keypad! Convenient!

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