Senator Cat (D) of Virginia

A cat named Hank is running for Virginia’s U.S. Senate seat against former governors George Allen and Tim Kaine, hoping to replace retiring Sen. Jim Webb. If Hank wins he will be the first cat elected to that office. This is for real! And he thinks he’s got a real shot too–so far this political cat has a campaign website, a Facebook page, a Twitter account, and he’s considering starting a blog much like where he’ll make fun of things like cats running for office.

"Maybe 'nine lives' means they'll let me vote for myself nine times."

Though they claim not to take this feline threat seriously, George Allen and Tim Kaine and a horde of other homo-sapien candidates have already begun digging through Hank’s “kitty litter” for things they could use against him. “He’s a nasty candidate,” said a political opponent in a recent anti-Hank television spot, “When I asked him what his plan was to create new jobs he just looked at me for a few seconds and then he started licking his anus. I thought that was a nasty and inappropriate answer to a simple question.” A good point, a very good point. But c’mon guys! Senator Hank the Cat? Really? Who’s gonna vote for somebody named Hank? No last name? Just “Hank?” Good luck.

This entry was posted in Practically Serious News and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s