April 25, 2012
Brent carried the fixed-up television under his arm and often glanced up at grey sky. A frisky wind whipped through his short red hair. He could already feel moisture on his skin and now he could see damp fingerprint smudges under where he clutched the television. He ran because if he botched this up he’d pay for it himself. Special promotion didn’t say anything about delivery vans running out of gas.
Now it was a race against the clouds. A red pickup truck came by and he flagged it down. When he told the toothless driver his dilemma he agreed to help but there wasn’t enough room for Brent to come too. Brent thought he’d no choice, so he loaded the television and watched the truck speed off.
Minutes later, about when the sun popped out, he realized he hadn’t even begun to tell the driver where to go.
April 13, 2012
Going to the mechanic can be a scary thing, especially when you don’t know all that much about cars. You try and look calm, sound tough, pretend you’re dying and therefore deserve sympathy, but still you feel your mechanic’s cold eyes scanning every inch of your nervous face, sizing you up, studying your weaknesses. He’s done this before and he knows what to look for. He has his tricks.
“And, is your vehicle two-door or four-door?” he’ll say in a friendly voice, as if it’s no big deal.
You freeze up. Your cool-guy swagger drains away. The charade is up. If you try and make up a lie it’ll only be worse for you. In a panic you decide to become Honest Abe. With a sort of apologetic smirk twitching on your lips you say, “Ooh. Okay. I gotta be honest with you man, I really don’t know that much about cars.” You figure maybe he’ll respect your sincerity.
But you know, deep down, you’ve just fallen victim to an old mechanic mind-trick, and now you belong to him. All you can do is pray he be gentle, and he rarely is.
You wonder: Is there no hope? Why is it always the same? How do I better prepare myself for next time? How do I finally get my mechanic to give me a break?
It’s easy, actually. You need only think a little outside the box.
3 Unorthodox Ways to Get Your Mechanic to Give You a Break
- Enroll in a technical college, learn the basics about car repair, and then start applying for jobs as an apprentice mechanic. Once you get hired by a mechanic, simply remind him that by law he must give you at least one one-hour break during your eight hour work day. He’ll give it to you.
- Tell him you kidnapped his son and currently have the kid hanging upside down above the electrified cage where they keep the velociraptors, but that you’ll happily let him free if you get a good deal on the repair. When he tells you with a straight face that he has no son, call his bluff (and hope he’s bluffing).
- After your mechanic charges you $1476 just to replace your front left brake pad, remind him that by law he must give you back the old one, too, should you request it. Request it. He’ll give it to you.
For more car-themed unorthodoxy, check out this post!