Life Before Smartphones 3 of 5: Taking Down a Girl’s Number (While You’re Hammered) in the Days Before Smartphones
In the days before Smartphones, if you were drunk and you wanted to take down a girl’s number, you couldn’t rely on your memory alone. Even if you weren’t drunk, that’s still way too many numbers. No, you’d have to spontaneously devise some kind of complex memory system that utilizes all of your nearby friends. Example: each drunken knucklehead could be trusted to memorize one digit of the overall phone number. The following day you could gather your friends and line them up against the wall like the Usual Suspects, and theoretically you’d have the complete phone number standing there before your eyes.
Sounds reasonable enough, right? Necessity is the mother of invention, blah blah blah? Not really. Not this time. Right off the bat I can think of a few major problems with this technique. First of all, to pull this off you’d need a minimum of ten friends in the first place, which I can tell you probably don’t have. Second: just because your inebriated friends were able to remember their assigned number, how are they supposed to know what order to stand in when you line them up against the wall? You’d have to shuffle them around again and again and try so many combinations, you’d practically be better off pulling out the phone book and calling all the numbers one by one starting from the beginning! Man, having a trusty cell phone in your pocket really makes things easier—just save her number to your contacts and you’re done!
If you want to further your education, please check out the other “lessons” in this series. And be sure to check back in for next week’s lesson!