Life Before Smartphones 1 of 5: Playing “Angry Birds” in the days before Smartphones
In order to play Angry Birds before the dawn of smartphones you literally had go out in the wilderness, capture a nest’s-worth of baby birds, safely transport them to the nearest abandoned construction site, and hope like hell there just so happened to be approximately ten pigs scattered all over the rusty beams of the building’s frame. Once you completed all that, you had to wind up like Nolan Ryan and fling the still-living baby birds, one by one, at the skeletal frame, with hope that the structure had been so poorly slapped together in the first place the soft blubbery impact of bird upon metal makes the beams sway just enough so that loose parts of it collapse onto and crush some of the pigs.
It was a simpler time back then, and people made do with what they had. They had lower standards and were therefore more easily entertained. Yet, before you start developing the erroneous idea that pre-Smartphone “Angry Birds” fans had it easy, just stop and think for a moment. Consider, if you will, how long it would take the average pre-Smartphone “Angry Birds” player to land upon this exact described scenario! Lot of random stuff has to work out just right! It could take all day to get through a single level. And when you run out of birds you must quickly set out and harvest more. There’s no easy “start new game” option; many animals must die so that your game might live. Not very convenient for anybody, I’d think.
Check back often for the next episode of our hit new series “Life Before Smartphones.”
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