Getting old sucks, but some lucky folks seem to be a lot better at decaying than others. Why is this? Why do some people retain at least a trace of their youthful swagger and healthy skin color into their golden years where others sit shriveled and broken on a porch somewhere quiet and probably in Florida? If we only knew ahead of time which type of old farts we are destined to become maybe we could better prepare for it. Maybe we could stop worrying. Or start.
Practicallyserious.com has compiled a list that anyone who is currently aging needs to read NOW.
Signs That You Will Age Well
- You don’t smoke cigarettes.
- You drink some red wine every night and never overindulge.
- You have a firm jaw, soft smooth skin, and strong, high cheekbones.
- Your mother and your father look pretty good for their age
- You didn’t already look like a balding 40-year-old way back in High School
- For the past five Christmases people haven’t said to you “Geez. You’re really letting yourself go. Do you need help?”
- You are George Clooney.
- You are not Harrison Ford.
- You are any African American.
- When you look in the mirror you don’t pretty much see Walter Matthau’s face.
- No one has ever said to you, “Bro, is it me or are you starting to look like Jessica Tandy.”
- You are a positronic android.
- You are a mosquito trapped in fossilized amber.
- You exercise daily.
- You are not Cher.
- You have no kids.
- You have no wives.
- You have read this list.
- You don’t force yourself to do things that you don’t want to do (like come up with one more “sign” to bring this list to a solid 20.)
For more practicallyserious jokes about aging, check out this post!