In a controversial paper published earlier today, practicallyserious Space Agency (PSSA) astrophysicist Leo Foley offers what he considers mathematical proof of a blogging phenomenon known as “darkcontent.” Darkcontent has long been considered a possible explanation for why practicallyserious.com is able to exist for extended periods of time without offering any new blog posts. A relatively new idea in blogging-physics, darkcontent’s existence is inferred from gravitational effects on visible blog content and gravitational lensing of background wordpress radiation, and was originally hypothesized to account for discrepancies between calculations of the mass and quality of practicallyserious.com’s archive, considered in the context of how long the blog has been in existence.
“Basically, there’s a major discrepancy between how long this particular blog has been in existence, and the general quality and quantity of the writing,” said Foley during a Q & A held after his initial presentation of his findings. “Something doesn’t add up. No writer can remain mediocre for so long without showing at least marginal improvement. This is common sense. Even without trying, the writer would have to improve, if only a little bit. Well, my latest series of experiments at the Large Hadron Collider in Cern suggest that this blog has, indeed, gotten better, a lot better, only we can’t see it. Therefore I propose there are well-written, high quality posts hidden in those ever-growing gaps between the real blog posts. We have no physical proof of their quality, yet we can infer their existence by the massive blocks of time between each new post. Gravitationally and creatively speaking, they must be there, or else the blog would simply fly apart.”
Foley boldly suggests that darkcontent may account for over 99% of practicallyserious.com’s total mass. “The good stuff is there, I’m tellin ya. We have the numbers to prove it, we just don’t have the technology to see it. Yet.” According to Foley, there’s still hope that practicallyserious.com can one day be a top notch, world-class blog. “Darkcontent is waiting, lads, waiting to be discovered, and it’s high quality stuff. It’s funny as hell, or, at the very least, decently-written. If we can better understand it, we may be able to one day see it, harness it, bring it to the foreground with the rest of practicallyserious.com’s sporadic ‘lightcontent.’
For more practicallyserious.com Space Agency antics, check out this story: