Making Pizza with 3D Printers
It’s not delivery. It’s not Dijorno. This time it’s more like Hewlett Packard. A recent article on Space.com suggested that, in time, 3D printers will reach a point where they could conceivably “print” actual cheese pizzas. With pepperoni. It won’t taste like King Umberto’s from Franklin Square, New York. Probably not even like Little Ceasar’s. But you’ll be able to print pizza from a consumer-level printer and eat it. Your stomach will recognize it as food. You will later poop it.
Just the idea of easily printable pizza frightens me. Because I can see this thing going bad real fast. Pizza as convenient as tap water? In such a naughty world, how long before you bypass the plates and utensils, take a Tebow knee in front of the printer’s tray and let the thing print directly into your face? How long?
What are 3D Printers?
3D printers are not all that different from 2D printers. Just like with the printer you use to print your resumes and movie tickets, you supply the ink/materials (powders, oils, nutrients) and the schematics, and the 3D printer will, line by line, create the three-dimensional object by way of thinly sliced, horizontal cross-sections. At first we were talking little plastic knickknacks and tables and chairs, but, down the pipeline, it’ll be entire houses and solid turtle shell domes to house little inflatable moon/Mars bases. Really cool stuff on the horizon.
And, in the right now, we’re talking about pizza. Printed from a printer.
This isn’t astronaut food here. This is a piping hot, greasy, slobbery pizza slice that drips oil back onto the top of the printer when you pick it up — from 3D-Printed Pizza: A Review
The “Big Questions” about 3D-Printed Pizza
Big question: can you print one of these pizzas in black and white? If so, does that affect nutritional value?
Big question: can you print these pizzas in low resolution “draft mode”? So you can print as many as possible before running out of “ink?” (because that’s how the bastards really try and get you)
Big question: if the 3D printer starts to run out of materials/ink halfway through a pizza-printing job, will the remaining half of the pizza come out all grey-faded and liney?
Jokes aside, the idea of 3D printing consumable food totally changes the way I think about the future of 3D Printing. I already appreciated the potential of such technology, but I figured it wouldn’t factor into my life until maybe I was an old man 3D-printing sheet after sheet of Werther’s Originals. Not the case! It turns out the future is already here! All of a sudden my spaghetti-burning-ass is Mario Batali.
What This Means for You, the Workin’ Stiff
What will 3D printers eventually mean for you, the consumer? Exactly three things…
- Even if you’re on a budget, you can enjoy piping hot meals made fresh in the kitchen (or dingy, cobwebby basement laboratory).
- Girls who want to impress a dapper stud with their “cooking skills” need only hand-pick their grandmother’s tastiest megabytes from the family USB Key and hit “print.” Wife material!
- Parents too busy to whip up a fresh, home-cooked meal for their younglings on Thanksgiving Day? It’s time for some 3D printed ten-pound turkey (just please, please please remember to 3D-print a hatchet first, so you can kill it before it gets away).
Readers! What do you think about the coming age of 3D-Printed pizza/foods? Do you feel your torsos are in jeopardy?
But enough with the postulating. How does the 3D-printed pizza actually taste? Read my in-depth taste-test review here: 3D-Printed Pizza: A Review