- Right before you’re about to go jogging. If you take a nice, refreshing shower right before you go jogging, you’ll just want to take another shower after you get home, and then you’ll feel stupid.
- Right before you’re about to go to the beach. Some people take showers right before they go to the beach. I don’t get this. The minute you set your towel down you lather greasy sunscreen all over our body, and then you jump in the nasty seawater. The parasites in the waves don’t give a fig about your Lever 2000, so you might as well just skip the pre-beach shower. Might as well be nasty goin’ in!
- Right before you’re about to take a shower. If you take a shower right before you’re about to take a shower, you’ll find that you already feel clean and smell clean and look clean, and when you take that second shower you won’t be able to shake a guilty feeling that you’re now simply wasting water and time.
- Right before you’re about to mud-wrestle. I know some people that think it’s a good idea to shower before their league mud-wrestling matches because they don’t want to get any dirt in the mud. I just don’t get this at all.
- Right before you’re about to take a bath. Some well-to-do gentlemen take a nice long shower before their scheduled nightly bath. After they’re all clean from the shower and dried off and spritzed with cologne and dressed in a nice pink velvet robe, they wait about fifteen or twenty minutes and then they go ahead and get naked again and take their bath. There are a lot of things wrong with this: wasting water, wasting towels, wasting soap, wasting cologne.
- When You Think That 1 + 1 = 7. If you take a shower at the moment you think that 1 + 1 = 7, then that’s just about the stupidest time you could possibly take a shower.
- When You Title Your Post “5 Stupid Times to Take a Shower” but have 7 Items in the Article. If you title your post “5 Stupid Times to Take a Shower” but then have 7 items in the article, and then you take a shower, that’s actually even a stupider time to take a shower than the time mentioned in item 6. Good job.
April 21, 2012